True love IS holding it in.

The modern day romantic seems to think that partners farting in front of each other means true love, not holding your farts in is love?  Pfft I simply do no believe this.  My lover better hold it in till the day he dies.  Who are these people that decided this was the equivalent gesture to giving flowers or chocolates.  Anything beyond the, dare I say, almost cute sleep fluffs will drive me mad.  Now I'm not a prude and very aware that "everybody poops" but I don't want to know about it.   I have a pretty high threshold when it comes to the body, give me pimples, stray hairs or belly button fluff and I wont blink twice, but I still value some old school rules like, causally leaving the room to fart.  It's not that hard.

I'm sure some people will disagree and think closeness is based on holding nothing back, and that perhaps I haven't had this level of closeness.  This is not true, me and the lover are very close, been living together for almost two years so there are no real secrets but we do NOT fart in front of each other and we ARE in love. 

I think its a good sign to keep some mystery about each other, having this boundary, even if it is my only real one, shows that we respect each other, or more he respects me and my sensitive girly nose.  I think its a good think, a sign of passion, romance and sex appeal.  He likes to pay for meals, take me out on the town, make me tea and keep me happy. We share everything, I can tell him anything, have complete faith and trust in him and also want to kill him a lot of the time.  We are as close as two peas in a pod!

Ok not right now, I want to punch him because he is stomping around because I don't want to leave the computer and warmth to go to the pub.  But still fart free room!

I really am baffled how this natural but unpleasant action now relates to true love and comfort, what's next?  Pooping with the door open (think that Sex in the City episode)?  Maybe its because I am young, child free (except for Marvin the schnauzer) and always was appalled at my brothers lack of grace.  Whatever it is I am happy not being part of this faze.   I would rather wonder why he left the room then know what he just ate.  That to me is comfort.