Sunsets over share houses

Nothing reinforces the pleasant realisation that you have left those crowded, messy share house days behind and moved into a grownup home like having a gorgeous garden.  A space that is not full of beer bottles and someone’s old bicycle but with flowers, light, birds, an outdoor setting and if you’re really lucky a water feature.  I’m not quite there yet, about half way I hope.  I’ve left the smelly share house of 4(!) boys behind and moved into a slick apartment with one boy (two if you include the dog). In the share house our yard was damp, full of cigarettes (I don’t smoke) and broken glass (also not me), generally just really an unpleasant area to be in.  But now with one small step of the ladder rung I have climbed to a clean balcony.  The garden of my dreams is a still a little way off but I do have a space to call my own and it does delight me with the most beautiful sunsets. 

Sunset from my apartment.

In this tiny, yet glorious, excuse of a balcony I have managed to squeeze one table and two delightfully vintage (street) chairs, a chilli plant (with no chillies) and some bamboo, because, well who doesn’t love some bamboo?   But this doesn’t exactly leave much room for outdoor dinner parties especially once the dog and his bowl are out there, thankfully there is a doggy door.  There is only just enough space for two people to share some bubbles, cheese and soak up some rays which is all very lovely, but not exactly practical. 

This in-between apartment is defiantly a step up from the environment of a house where everyone fights over the last clean fork.  But I would like enough room to grow some plants, a lemon tree and maybe lay out my yoga mat, so I will need some dirt too.  My lease runs out soon and I would like to continue to rise to a level where I have the space to turn my white thumbs green, and stretch out, physically and mentally.  This leads me to yearning for a house again.  But not a share house…

I like my little wolf pack so will hunt for a small house with a nice yard.  It needs space, light and a place for everyone and everything.  I don’t want messy street parties but nice dinner parties, apparently with the evolution of my living situation I have also matured.  I think the yard reflects what is in the home, the energy of the people living there and whether they care about their environment, immediate and global.  There is also the issue of how much love and energy to put into a space that is not yours.  I’m not going to be buying soon so I need a rented yard that is already nice so I can just add some small, cheap, touches to keep me happy in the meantime.

Until I continue to go up the ladder of mediocre to fantastic houses I will simply have to fantasise about what can be.   One thing I’m already certain about, besides the lemon tree, is the outside, newly purchased seating I will have from Cosh Living, and yes I will show you the picture.  Until then my unfruitful chilli bush and street chairs will keep me happy.

You always look the same

"You always look the same", these were either the sweetest words OR I should break up with the man who said them.  I'm hoping not the later.  My lover said this to me one night when we were out to dinner.  And yes I had made the effort to brush my hair, put on some lipstick and slip into a sexy dress.  I sat there stunned looking at him..."umm....gee thanks?'  I thought over the years I'd figured out how to dress myself and make a statement and that my clothes could fit my mood.  I considered myself quiet the chameleon I could do grungy, hipster, work, yoga, nanna, sexy the list goes on.  I know you're not supposed to say this but I like my body and thought I had it figured out.  But to hear I always look the same?  No make up vs. make up is all in our heads?

Being a smart boy he sensed I was disgruntled and followed up with a very cute man speech that made me want to keep him.  "No I can tell the difference when you have gotten all dolled up or when you are on the couch in your trackies, but to me you are always the same.  You always look the same in my mind, beautiful...."  Awwwww.  "Like now I can tell you have that black gunk on your eyes" hmmmmm.   That's right ladies, that smoky eye beauty companies insist we learn how to do to look "sexy" is purely black gunk.  Liberating?  I think not.  Although my other half loves the way I look in all forms, he has no problem in pointing out the flaws in others.

Two nights ago we where at a bar in Windsor, now I always notice people dressed, well, wrong.  And I don't mean slutty or ugly I mean skirts that are too small, fake hair and lack of hygiene.  But I was bemused to see the bf analysing two girls at the bar; "is that girl wearing tights?  what is she going for a run?"  YES boys hate tights too, why do girls continue to wear them as pants when not exercising, yes they are comfortable.  but she was wearing 8inch heels so clearly comfort was not her style.  He continues with the other "and look at her face, why is it so shiny?  she looks like porcelain."  Which translates to way too much bronzer.  Now he wasn't being mean, he was actually confused, bless. 

With these two somewhat conflicting events I have come to the conclusion that if you are loved by the people you surround yourself with you will always be beautiful, but to others you might still look foolish.  So I figure honesty is the key.  Tell your friend not to wear tights to a night club and don't be offended if your boyfriend doesn't notice your new hair cut, because to him, you were already beautiful.

No more nothing.

"I must not wish my life away", these are the words a dear friend of my mine said and I find myself trying to live by them.  It's not uncommon to wish the boring, days, hours or even weeks would go faster in anticipation of something better to come.  This wishing for time to pass has come to my attention as being ludacris, how could I wish for less life?!  Yet its a common practice, I'm going to Singapore in a week and wish I was going tomorrow.  But hang on, I have a whole weeks worth of achievements I should be trying to fit in first.  Or not even achievements just life to live.

One undateable, particularly boring night earlier this year I promised my self no more nights of nothing.  In short I decided that I would not be lazy.  Each night I must do at least one of the following; cook something incredible (no cereal for dinner), see a dear friend, write,  take the schnauzer for a long adventure, speak with a distant friend or family member, yoga, lover, read or watch something I have not seen before.

Last night I failed at this, lover was at work, my girlfriend and I decided it was too cold to go out and everything else just fell to the way side.  Needless to say I found myself watching reruns and eating too much, why?  I was waiting for the day to end, today in the light of feeling positive again I must say shame on you to my last night self.  Luckily such dismal a night happens about once a month to me so nothing to panic about but it really was a sorry state of affairs.

Today I have remade this no nothing promise to myself and plan to enjoy my life with no boring moments, today (a day with no real work) has already been filled with cooking, love and taking the schnauzer out.  Also the very productive birth of this blog, tonight I plan to make a disgustingly healthy green soup, become soulful in yoga then get lost in the snuff sniffing world of Sherlock Holmes (the novella) , no more nothing is in full swing. 

Lets see how long it lasts this time... I must not wish my life away.