Who are you?

It's come to my attention that the first thing someone asks you after an introduction is "so what do you do".  Now it would be nice if they were asking on a personal level.  Asking do you cook, run, love, volunteer, sing?  Are you a cat or a dog person?  Are you team Nigella?  But it's never that.  They are asking what do you get paid to do.  Which in my humble opinion is as obnoxious as asking “how much do you get paid?” or “can I get anything out of talking to you?”  Now I’m not trying to start of the year cynical and I appreciate unless this is the start of a long illustrious friendship then small talk at the party is key.  But honestly if one more person this holiday season can only think to ask what's your job I’m going to bop them on the head.  Beyond the fact that you might learn something interesting about the other person, it’s highly amusing to watch people react to a more personal question.  What are you reading?  Do you like to travel and so on. 

This view of course doesn’t mean that no one wants to speak about their job.  But a lot of people are not in their dream career and you asking them to explain why can be as rude as asking what size are your pants.  If someone wants to talk about their job trust me they will bring it up.  I love speaking about my writing job but my financial one not so much.  So when I’m asked about this stupid question I usually say “two jobs, one at the bank and one writing which I love”.  But of course I’m always met with ooh which bank?  And another thing if someone adds a "just" before their job title they don’t want to divulge either, I’m just a bartender as opposed to I’m a sommelier at this great place...see?  So this year try asking people who they are, not what they do and I can guarantee the conversation will be more enjoyable for both parties.


If you don't want to know anything detailed about who this new person is you can always just spice things up by asking who they voted for.  Screw politeness.

Not done with being the girlfriend.

When you reach a certain age, have been with a fine male specimen for a number of years and everybody loves the two of you together you get asked the inevitable question of when are you getting married, or is he the one.  Well yes he is the one but I am NOT getting married anytime soon and for that matter I don't want to get engaged anytime soon, I'm not done being the girlfriend. Believe or not this is not the only thing on girls minds when they meet a fella and its definitely not on mine.

Now I'm not against marriage I love it, but its something I look forward to, a part of life that I am yet to reach.  Not due to age, maturity or men, purely because I like being a girlfriend.  Its fun, free and comes with daily benefits and pleasures. Beyond this if I get married now, or in the next few years, then it would already be done, I would be a wife, the anticipation and excitement of the big day would be gone, and the next question would be kids............. um get away from me!  To me becoming a fiancé now would be like someone giving me my Christmas presents now, sure I would be happy, who doesn't love presents but its not the right time and when the time scale is not yearly but life, well its just way to early. 

Why do people think that if you are in a committed relationship that your clock is ticking, am I a bomb?  Will our love die if we don't "put a ring on it"  does everybody just want to come to the party?  Whatever it is I wish I would stop getting asked, its awkward and no one ever seems to like the answer "I don't want to yet," its like they don't believe me, is it cause I'm a girl?  There are so many things to come first, in my life.  Travel, travel, travel, more schnauzers and yup more travel.  I feel secure so why don't people older then me let me be.  Why must our relationships fit us into a time slot of life and how far along we are, especially when so many marriages fail.   Why the big push? 

All I know is I'm happy, I'm loved we plan to get fat together when where old and that's all I/you need to know.