Touch My Yogi Fear

Yoga changes your life; I became stronger and more aware.  Breathing became a conscious thing and how far apart my toes could be spread was more important than the old t-shirt I adorned.  Yoga is not just about health, or being lean or flexible.  There are no guidelines of who can take part or who should stay away.  In yoga studios there are no mirrors or pumping beats, you are in a room full of people but alone on your mat.  It is hard to explain the feeling of calm that comes over you before you start your practice.  The breath slows but awareness heightens, and prepares you for a battle. A battle with your own mind that is about to commence. 

The battle is not to bend yourself in-half, that will come.  The battle is staying aware for the whole practice.  The trick is to not let your eye wander to your chipped toenail polish or the yogi with the perfect headstand in front of you.  It’s to not think about the day you just had or what groceries to buy later, training the mind is harder than training the body.  When your mind is focused your body can achieve great things, anything…almost.

Stretch, hold, release *crack*!  It was like the most exquisite yoga class combined with the most intense deep tissue massage.  I was on a table, the body that I tried to worship and treat like a temple had broken.  The body I indulged with yoga, walks, plenty of sleep, a vegetarian diet and sex had in an instant turned against me.  The nervous system was my downfall, a pinched nerve in the hip will bring down the most toned healthy body and it was horrendous.  The pain is outrageous and the posture destroying painless position I worked myself into was mortifying.  Drugs were not my answer; either was resting awkwardly in a bed for days.  I had to get proactive and find a natural health solution, one which would be effective but kind to my body.  I did not want to numb my pain I wanted to understand it; my answer was going to the Chiropractor.

On a warm table I was pushed, prodded rolled and cracked.  My limbs were realigned and massaged.  My sockets had the bones pulled out and pushed back in, I was just letting myself be arranged but it was a work out.  It didn't always feel great but I could feel my body easing into it.  It wanted to be straightened and put into place.  It was evident that the yoga I did in the evening wasn't undoing the damage I was doing in the day; my fabulous work heels, love of literally curling up with a book and outrageous/ jarring dance moves on were playing havoc with my joints.  My temple was not happy, and this made me unhappy.

I have a love for my body I accept and treasure it, but even the most aspiring yogi has a downfall.  My chiropractor told me that a pinched nerve especially in the hip area was likely to keep happening, all the strength work in the world wouldn’t combat a sudden slip or knock.  But he also had a beautiful way of viewing health.  He said to be healthy is to be normal.  Our body wants to be healthy and fit and happy, it shouldn’t be a distant goal but a constant sense of being.  Even if I feel sick, sneeze or vomit it’s a sign of my body readjusting itself.  It is working.  My chiropractor really understood to the roots of his practice.  He was inspired by Daniel David Palmer who created chiropractic care.  

“I desired to know why one person was ailing and his associate eating at the same table, working in the same shop was not. Why? What difference was there in the two persons that caused one to have pneumonia, catarrh, typhoid or rheumatism, while his partner, similarly situated, escaped? Why?”

This was a revelation, it’s better to focus on the person with the disease then focus on the disease that the person has. 

No pill would fix my hip, I needed a personal touch, someone to physically touch me, feel my body and tell me what was awry.  I only went to the chiropractor twice, after that my nerve problem felt eased and I was free to get back to yoga, love, walking my pup and everything else I value.  My body felt aligned and fresh, so did my soul, but I had a new awareness of how tough and fragile I was, that what gave me so much pleasure would also harbor pain.

I was back on my mat the next week but it was hard to still my mind, I felt a subtle ghost pain in my hip and I could feel myself holding back from some poses which usually I would dive into, fearless.   Yoga will help get my confidence back, as soon as a can quieten the battle in my mind and be free to stretch into myself.

Me in Thailand-Taken by the beautiful Polly

Wine and Walls

I’m definitely a part of this foodie wave and I love it.  I have always eaten food for pleasure not fuel and my move to Melbourne last year cemented this passion.  I love dining at all the newest and hottest restaurants, but also take solace in finding grungy bars and hidden cafes.  In my apartment I have more cookbooks then novels and my salt is the prettiest colour pink you ever did see.  My obsession with all things delicious has developed and blossomed and now instead of just focusing on the aroma of the dish laid in front of me or the ‘legs’ of the wine poured into my glass I also take note of the stool I’m perfectly perched upon or the couch I’m sleepily laying on.

It’s not a new idea that your surroundings affect your perception of a new experience and place.  The room you are in can make you feel elated, bored, happy or depressed, just like music can.  So it makes sense that it would also affect your dining experience.  Earlier this year I went to San Telmo in the CBD with a friend and we sat at the bar, I was enjoying everything immensely until one detrimental swizzle of my bar stool.  This natural movement left with me with splinters in my knee; I was jaded by the blood dribbling down my calf.  Instead of leaving the restaurant musing about the food I went home and searched the bathroom cabinet for some tweezers needless to say I won’t be returning.  On the same note I have fallen in love with Commercial Roads latest gem; Tall Timber (not a splinter yet).  The white wooden interior reminds me of a beach house and the minimalist theme keeps you focused on the fresh treats on the counter as opposed to the busy street outside.  The whole place makes you feel warm and happy and ensures my return as well as spreading the love about this new hotspot.

Business owners need to take into account what their decor reflects and whether the vibe they are trying to portray is being received.  It’s not just the more obvious decisions either, i.e. a lounge in Coda would be a debacle, but the little things that make a difference as well.  I love that Cumulus Inc., CBD, has bag hooks at the bar and Casa Cuiccio, Fitzroy, has coat racks by the door.  These little touches make the whole dining experience more pleasant.  As far as the sourcing of the products goes I’m no snob to the hipster, recycling approach either, I am a greeny after all.  I love the used sofa and grandma’s crocheted cushion (given that it’s clean) as much as a sexy, sleek new stool, as long as it sends the right message and reflects the soul of the establishment.

As a future bar owner (one can dream) I’m starting to fantasise about stools and bulbs as much as I am the tapas menu and cocktail list.  I take real note of what does and doesn’t work in the places I dine.  As a result of this new interest my online shopping has turned from blazers to furniture.  My eye is drawn to bright and unique products to feature on a simple backdrop.  The feeling of the place would be fresh and colourful without being clinical. There would be flowers and champagne alongside new stools with vintage cushions.  One thing is for sure and that's where I will be shopping, Relax House.

Sunsets over share houses

Nothing reinforces the pleasant realisation that you have left those crowded, messy share house days behind and moved into a grownup home like having a gorgeous garden.  A space that is not full of beer bottles and someone’s old bicycle but with flowers, light, birds, an outdoor setting and if you’re really lucky a water feature.  I’m not quite there yet, about half way I hope.  I’ve left the smelly share house of 4(!) boys behind and moved into a slick apartment with one boy (two if you include the dog). In the share house our yard was damp, full of cigarettes (I don’t smoke) and broken glass (also not me), generally just really an unpleasant area to be in.  But now with one small step of the ladder rung I have climbed to a clean balcony.  The garden of my dreams is a still a little way off but I do have a space to call my own and it does delight me with the most beautiful sunsets. 

Sunset from my apartment.

In this tiny, yet glorious, excuse of a balcony I have managed to squeeze one table and two delightfully vintage (street) chairs, a chilli plant (with no chillies) and some bamboo, because, well who doesn’t love some bamboo?   But this doesn’t exactly leave much room for outdoor dinner parties especially once the dog and his bowl are out there, thankfully there is a doggy door.  There is only just enough space for two people to share some bubbles, cheese and soak up some rays which is all very lovely, but not exactly practical. 

This in-between apartment is defiantly a step up from the environment of a house where everyone fights over the last clean fork.  But I would like enough room to grow some plants, a lemon tree and maybe lay out my yoga mat, so I will need some dirt too.  My lease runs out soon and I would like to continue to rise to a level where I have the space to turn my white thumbs green, and stretch out, physically and mentally.  This leads me to yearning for a house again.  But not a share house…

I like my little wolf pack so will hunt for a small house with a nice yard.  It needs space, light and a place for everyone and everything.  I don’t want messy street parties but nice dinner parties, apparently with the evolution of my living situation I have also matured.  I think the yard reflects what is in the home, the energy of the people living there and whether they care about their environment, immediate and global.  There is also the issue of how much love and energy to put into a space that is not yours.  I’m not going to be buying soon so I need a rented yard that is already nice so I can just add some small, cheap, touches to keep me happy in the meantime.

Until I continue to go up the ladder of mediocre to fantastic houses I will simply have to fantasise about what can be.   One thing I’m already certain about, besides the lemon tree, is the outside, newly purchased seating I will have from Cosh Living, and yes I will show you the picture.  Until then my unfruitful chilli bush and street chairs will keep me happy.