Who are you?

It's come to my attention that the first thing someone asks you after an introduction is "so what do you do".  Now it would be nice if they were asking on a personal level.  Asking do you cook, run, love, volunteer, sing?  Are you a cat or a dog person?  Are you team Nigella?  But it's never that.  They are asking what do you get paid to do.  Which in my humble opinion is as obnoxious as asking “how much do you get paid?” or “can I get anything out of talking to you?”  Now I’m not trying to start of the year cynical and I appreciate unless this is the start of a long illustrious friendship then small talk at the party is key.  But honestly if one more person this holiday season can only think to ask what's your job I’m going to bop them on the head.  Beyond the fact that you might learn something interesting about the other person, it’s highly amusing to watch people react to a more personal question.  What are you reading?  Do you like to travel and so on. 

This view of course doesn’t mean that no one wants to speak about their job.  But a lot of people are not in their dream career and you asking them to explain why can be as rude as asking what size are your pants.  If someone wants to talk about their job trust me they will bring it up.  I love speaking about my writing job but my financial one not so much.  So when I’m asked about this stupid question I usually say “two jobs, one at the bank and one writing which I love”.  But of course I’m always met with ooh which bank?  And another thing if someone adds a "just" before their job title they don’t want to divulge either, I’m just a bartender as opposed to I’m a sommelier at this great place...see?  So this year try asking people who they are, not what they do and I can guarantee the conversation will be more enjoyable for both parties.


If you don't want to know anything detailed about who this new person is you can always just spice things up by asking who they voted for.  Screw politeness.